CONFIDENCE - Ten steps for developing more confidence in everyday life.

C is for - CONFIDENCE is a skill you can learn.
Confidence is a skill and you can learn it in stages. It is not something you do have or don’t have - it is in us all but at varying degrees at various times. Don't presume that some people are born with confidence and others aren't. Don't think you are always going to be like the way you are. Confidence is definitely a skill that you can learn.

O is for - OLD habits die hard so PRACTISE to become more confident.
If you have been nervous, shy or lacking in confidence for many years then don't expect a magic wand to be waved and for you to suddenly become confident. Instead, practise at being confident. Practise whatever it is that will help you. Do this over and over again until this becomes your new habit. Without practice nothing happens.

N is for - NAG yourself to take a step towards greater confidence.
If your confidence is low and you can't decide what to do, what matters most is that you take a step, a small step, any step towards a more positive direction. Nag yourself until you do take a step. One step can lead to the next step. There is no one right step to start with - just start. Don't wait to feel good. Don't wait for things to settle. Don't wait for things to feel right. Take a step.  What will your next step be?

F is for - FIND a role model or mentor.
Find someone who can already do what you want to do, someone who already is confident, somebody who has overcome great barriers and succeeded despite them.

I is for - IDENTIFY the fears that hold you back.
Often people who lack confidence in particular situations fear something, a common fear is that of being rejected. Once you know what the fear is then you can start managing it, or seek help to conquer it.

D is for - DISCOVER what helps you, and do it.
There is no one way that will help you become confident. Use many different strategies to develop and maintain your confidence. What matters is that you find out what is right for you.

E is for - EXPRESS thanks when you receive a compliment.
Some people find it difficult to accept compliments but would hear negative feedback easily. This hurts and destroys their confidence. I encourage you to accept compliments. It is quite simple, say "Thank you". If you can't think of anything else you can always say, "Thank you that was really nice of you to say so". If you dismiss the compliment or undermine it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing really" you are undermining yourself and the person who has been kind enough to praise you. If you can accept compliments then your confidence will increase.

N is for - NEW skills increase your confidence.
Sometimes people put off doing things until they are confident. Don't wait for confidence to arrive before you do something - instead, get the skills you need and the confidence will follow. For example, if you lack confidence in social situations then you could enrol in a course on conversation skills, or read a book about it, or start watching what other people do and copy them. In some way develop the skills so you know what to do. Once you've got the skills then your confidence can grow.

C is for - CHANGE your thinking - think positively.
Every time you say or think something bad about yourself or your situation you lower your confidence one more step. If you stay focused on what has gone wrong, on how bad things are or on how undeserving you are, then your confidence will go down again.

E is for - EQUALITY: Look upon others as your equals.
Time and again confident people would say that they look upon all people as equal and this allowed them to approach any person, without feeling intimidated and suffering from a loss of confidence.

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